At your fingertips..

As much as I use sarcasm to talk about this town, I also like to write about some things that only happen in this neck of the woods.

You can buy anything anywhere in this town. Want some produce...in some neighborhoods the produce stand comes to you. Converted lunch wagon missing half the cover sell fruits and vegetables ala open air market. You can see them on a busy street corner peddling mangos or other tropical fruits for a favorite shake. Bananas hang on a nail which runs across a delapidated board along the back of the truck. Need some apples..they have them. No granny smiths but what latin in their right mind really bakes apple pie anyways. Last time I checked there is no cuban apple pie. Maybe an apple papaya pie. Not that there is such a thing but it kinda rolls off the tongue don't you think?

Need some knives sharpened? Eevery month you can have the mobile knife sharpener who comes by sort of like the ice cream man complete with the big step van and funky music to let you know he is around the corner. Like if running to curb with your arms holding all the knives in the house is such a great idea. He will sharpen your Henkels and that rusty Machete you keep around to trim plants and kill those pesky garden snakes than get in the yard. Don't forget your scissors and all those pocket knives that you keep in a drawer. Honestly... does this guy make any money? Whatever happpend to those cool little sharpeners on the back of the can openers. They always made that cool noise and you could see the sparks fly as you sharpened.

How bout some health insurance? Stop at any busy intersection and you'll get handy a flyer offering you medical insurance for 40 bucks a month. Fact is its not really insurance but a death sentence from some foreign trained doctor who used to delivery cows in his prior life working out of a storefront next to a dry cleaner and a chinese restaurant. You can have your clothes wash dried and folded, pick up some lo mein and get a tetanus shot in less than an hour.

With all that money you save on health care, you need somewhere to hold at that money. Here in town the Avon lady is really an afterthought. You can get purses by the bucket loads. Most of them are copycats of the big names..Burberry, Louis Vitton, Coach and the like. Everyone can get them. By in reality isnt just better to go fake anyways. You buy your significant other that purse which costs more than your monthly car payment and they use it for a month or so till it gets old and sits in the corner of their closet next to those cool shoes which are no longer in style but she keeps them just to say she had a pair of x when they were in style.

Flowers are also part of the street corner phenomenon. This just creates trouble for men since they are always saying you never bring me flowers. The cool thing is that they are super cheap. Instead of spending over Fifty dollars on a dozen, you can easily get 5 to 10 dozen for that price on the street. I have been meaning to do that but dont really know if all thosse flowers would fit in the car.

I think the most amazing idea I have seen lately is this Car Wash at the Mall. You get to the mall to buy those expensive purses and some guy comes up to you in the middle of the garage with a clipboard. You need car wash? You look around this dimly lit multi story garage thinking where in the hell the darn water spigot could be. But no...the have these funky looking wheelbarrows with a water canister that brings the water to your dusty old vehicle where some recently arrived poorly paid immigrant can bring that shine back in a few minutes while you go haywire with that new platinum visa.

This is truly the land of the lazies.